History of Earth 4

The Babbling Village Idiot

Robin. Only child of General Sir Edgar the Brilliant of the Royal Guard of Guildia, and Spirituel Advisor Ziel'Kei of the Clan of Kei reigning the Grass Lands of Blaze. His parents left him as a baby in the care of his grandfather, who lived high up in the Doom Mountains. That was the last anyone ever heard from either of his parents.

Robin thus started his life by living high up in the barren mountains, learning to both dodge and fight rock-substanced monsters, always helping his grandfather to fill the storage with water and food. The fact that there was very little vegetation around, and that the hills were basicly flat and rocky, made Robins memories slightly black and white, both considering actual color and the view of morals. However, with time Robin became restless and longed for something different, and as he came of age his grandfather finally had nothing more he thought valuable to teach Robin. And seeing as Robin had been told of his heritage at an early age, he eventually decided to seek out his roots, his destiny, and maybe even this mysterious thing called color.

And so Robin travelled through the Continent of Geomania, leaving a path of rock monsters and dragons tailing behind trying to catch him off guard, followed by the trail of corpses of the two-headed, gigantic worms. Eventually he took hire on a ship wich would take him to the Continent of Aeromina, though due to bad weather the ship completely sailed off course and eventually stranded on the Continent of Pyroica instead.

After having survived his first sea trip, and shipwrecking, he had to travel to the more inhabited parts of Pyroica so that he could get on a new boat. His slow travelling lead him through a forest consisting of mostly dead trees, and wich for uncertain reasons read "Here there be madness and worse" on the maps. Not taking heed to the warning (after all, he expected monsters, something he was used to) he continued through the dead woods. Thus, one night, he was met by a bunch of beautiful women, though why they were all whiteglowing and transparent, hovering above the ground without feet sticking out of their definetly well-white-washed dresses he could not entirely fathom. And so Robins mind was attacked by the undead banshees, remains from the necromancers of Pyroica, and eventually possessed by the hungering spirits. But the banshees was then thrown aback by Robins suddenly icreased mentality, and their powers were repelled and their spirits destroyed as Robin unleashed for the first time in his life the wast magical powers at his command. And as Robin stumbled through the haunted forest and back into the world of the living, he knew that never more would any force take possession of his mind, and he thanked whatever the hell it was that made his survival possible for the continuing gift of life.

In the following years Robin experienced one crazy adventure after another, all increasing or adding to his list of abilities. He came upon magicians and tricksters and learned both the nature of real magic and the basics for simple tricks, thus managing to combine the two and become sort of a travelling effect shower. He then developed a liking for good (and bad) introes, along with a voice capable of making great speaches (though he had to have others actually write them). Always making the appearence of a weakling and an idiot in public, he easily managed to travel southwards through the Continent of Aeromina to the city of Guildia without too much fuzz.

A long time had passed when Robin finally came to the home city of his father, and there he decided to enlist in the army under the name of Zordon, hoping to eventually learn some more about his parents. Because he had pointed ears many of his fellow soldiers thought he was related to the elves, something wich often would end up in bad tasted jokes. But inside Robin there was an ancient instinct from his orcish side, one wich now came to blossom fully, and his fellow soldiers learned that in order to keep their ribs, noses, teeths and skulls whole they had to pay better respect and know the physical difference between actual elves and orcs. Aware of his blood relation the superior officers made sure to keep Robin, a.k.a. Zordon, away from the front lines where the Race War roamed.

And time passed. The Race Wars were nearing its end as negotiations between the whiteskins and the greenskins started. But some difficulties emerged, because the elves and the orcs in particular would instinctivly become enraged in each others presence. And so it was decided to use Zordon as the message bearer between the two opposing sides, because the orcs would smell his true orcish side, and the elves managed to hold back because he looked so elvish, and because Robin himself managed to have self control in the presence of the elves. To ensure that the messages would not be snatched up by anyone, Robin had to commit them to memory, something wich apparently came easy to him. But the negotiations went slowly, and Robin grew more and more fed up. Thus Robin decided to take matters into his own hands and started to alter the messages slightly, and seeing this was not enough he started to bribe and blackmail people in order to learn truths, secrets and plans. Through one whole year he was finally in complete control of the situation, and peace was close at hand...

...And then, one sunny day as he was riding between the two forces, he met the love of his life. A blonde haired woman in a red dress suddenly rushed at him from nowhere, attacking him with her full force of magic and a full arsenal of weapons. Robin takes counter meassures and dispells the spells and dodges all the weapons, followed with quick counter attacks against this female assassin. Though his sword apparently does her no harm, his magic seems to be quite effective, something wich the woman seems to find surprising. Just as Robin is about to unleash the final magical spell on the lady, they finally get to see each others faces. Time stood still, hell froze over, and boy and girl falls in love. All hostilities suddenly ended as Robin and the female assassin stared into each others faces, and the boy presents himself as Robin and the girl presents herself as Rodericia. They then wander off, ignoring whatever they were supposed to be doing.

With the message bearer Zordon suddenly gone all hell broke loose among the whiteskins and the greenskins, and the negotiations suddenly stoped followed by both forces marching on each other, followed then by the greatest massacre in the entire history. And thus ended the Race Wars, seeing as both sides decided that they definetly did not want to see each other ever again. The bloodbath was blamed on the vanished Zordon, and his name became a curse word among the southern continents.

Meanwhile Robin and Rodericia got married, swearing undying love to each other for all eternity... And then Robin got cold feet as he thought about all the responcibility coming along with a family. While his wife had her back turned, Robin ran off, took hire on the first ship possible, and then returned all the way home to his grandfather back in the Doom Mountains over at the Continent of Geomania.

Nine long years passed, and eventually his grandfather died. Not bearing to live alone with the memories of him, Robin decides to travel to the great city of Kwan and enlist at the Wizard Tower as a Gray Mage. For eigth years he then studied higher magic, and through that time he developed a really bad habit. Robin started to talk a lot. A real lot. He didn't want to think about his past, so he would talk just about anything else, and he would go on and on and on about it. This habit naturally drove other people mad, and soon the entire population of Kwan tried to avoid him, calling him the babbling village idiot. It should be noted that Robin was half orc, and orcs have very good lungs, and combined with much running, lots of speaches and message bearings, Robin could talk for non-stop for hours barely inhaling any oxygen at all.

Eventually the ArchWizard had had enough of him, and Robin was exiled out into the Wastelands. Though the people of Kwan hated the Gray Mage, they didn't really agree with the ArchWizards decision, and a full rebellion flourished. Meanwhile Robin spent three years babbling the giant worms to boredom and plotting his revenge against the City and the Wizards of Kwan. Besides, he didn't really have anything else to do, or anywhere else to go.

Then, one day, he met his new best friend...

Agnar Idsøe
13. October 2005


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